It's Little Ricky's third birthday, and Lucy can't be with her son. She's in Italy, and while she's having a great time on her European trip, she misses Little Ricky terribly. She walks up and down the Italian hotel's many flights of stairs to try and call Little Ricky on the phone. When her mother finally answers the phone, Lucy realizes she forgot about the time change. Little Ricky is barely coherent. Lucy is so sad that she ends up throwing a makeshift birthday party for a poor Italian shoeshine boy and all of his friends. This makes Lucy feel better, both by getting to honor Little Ricky's birthday and by helping bring joy to the poor Italian children.
- The name of the shoeshine boy is Giuseppe. Some of the friends he brought to the birthday party were Antonio, Maria, and Tulio. His cousin Teresa also came, and she was the one who really WAS celebrating her birthday that day!
- Lucy and Ricky's room on the fourth floor is really the "bridal suite." The Mertzes' room is on the fifth floor, and Ethel quips that their room must be the "bridal suite for mountain goats."
- Giuseppe admits that it's not really his birthday when Lucy gives him a pair of new shoes that he won't accept. But it really IS little Teresa's birthday, so the party wasn't for naught!
- Funny how there was never a complaint or issue with the stairs when the Ricardos lived in apartment 4-A yet after the same climb in the hotel they were exausted.
- Lucy: Well, it is kind of picturesque.
Ethel: (to Fred) Why did you bring us to this picturesque dump?
- Ethel: (to Fred) Oh, brother. If you mailed 'em, [Little Ricky] will be lucky if he gets [the birthday presents] for his TWENTY-third birthday!
- Fred: [The hotel] may be a little old, but it's cheap.
Ethel: Well, that makes two of you.
- Mr. Nicoletti: The elevator, she's-a no work. She's-a bust.
Ethel: The whole idea of comin' here, shes-a bust!
- Ethel: I climbed an Alp last week and it wasn't this bad!
- Lucy: That elevator- she's-a no bust. She's a-pooped!
- Ethel: One flight [more] up?! What'd you give us? The bridal suite for mountain goats?
- Lucy: Hi.
Ricky: (about ridiculous steps) You can say that again!
- Ricky: (about rock-hard bed in hotel) What's this? A box spring without springs?
- Ethel: Those aren't pigeons up there [on our room's windowsill]. They're angels!
- Ethel: And [Mrs. Trumbull] says [in her letter], "The furnace broke down last Monday, and there was no heat all week."
(Fred laughs evilly)
Ethel: (continues reading letter) "The repair man finally fixed it yesterday, and I'm enclosing the bill."
(Ethel laughs evilly)
Fred; $118?! Is she off her nut?!
Ethel: Oh, no, calm down, Scrooge. It's cold in New York. She's gotta keep the tenants warm.
Fred: It would have been cheaper to send 'em all to Florida for the winter!
- Fred: (about Ricardos' hard bed) You're in luck- you got a soft one.
- Lucy: Just my luck- I'd have to get an operator in Italy who studied English in Cuba.
- Lucy: (on imaginary phone call) Hello, Ben [Franklin]! Hi! What's new? You don't say? Well, well- lightning, huh?
- Lucy: It's Lucy. I'm in Italy. I'm calling from Florence.
Mrs. McGillicuddy: Oh, hello, Florence.
- Mrs. McGillicuddy: It's nice and warm here [with the furnace].
Fred: At 5 o'clock in the morning?!
- Ricky: Fred, from this second on, you're paying for the call.
Fred: (hurriedly) Goodbye!
- Lucy: Of course, [Little Ricky]'s much younger [than you are].
Giuseppe: I used to-a be younger!
- Lucy: And then [Giuseppe] said, "It's-a my birthday today, to, signora!" Isn't that amazing?
Fred: Not half as amazing as the fact that you fell for it!
Lucy: Oh, Fred, you're such a cynic.
Ethel: Don't pay any attention to him. He thinks everybody in the world thinks just like he does.
- Lucy: I know. She's-a their birthday today, too, eh?
Giuseppe: How you know?
Luyc: Oh, a little bird told me. Okay, cioccolata for everybody in the house!
Fred: Apparently, everybody in TOWN!